Holding the excellent event before your mind, tell yourself something like this: "Yes, I like the way I behaved there. That is the way I wish to speak in the future. That is the way I would like to handle that situation each time it comes up. I like what was done there."

Then, having noted this indication of goodness, and your growth, let the film start again. Stop it each time you see something you have done which makes you happy. Also notice the times that you withheld speaking a word that would hurt another, or withheld a resentful action. Stop the film at each point and notice each part of the movie where you are particularly happy with your conduct.

Proceed in this manner, stopping the film and clearly noticing your good points. Let this practice become automatic. At first it’s a little tricky stopping and starting the film clip, but within three or four days you will likely have the hang of it.

Now you can really make huge gains in...